Nov 162013

The appearance of the man in the picture is the result of right hand masturbation.


This example picture highlights the link between Masturbation and Analytical Thought.

According to Happeh Theory, Excessive Masturbation, Excessive Sex, Excessive Exercise, Injection of Drugs, Snorting of Drugs, Homosexuality, Anorexia, and Analytical Thought are all associated with similar physical changes to the body.

This man supports those claims. The man is a well known technological innovator. Technological innovation requires analytical thought. In the example picture his body clearly displays the unmistakable changes caused by right hand masturbation.

Readers unfamiliar with Happeh Theory may be thinking “I never heard that masturbation can physically change the human body. What physical changes does Right Hand Masturbation make in a human body?”.

Happeh Theory is not difficult. The reader can answer that question themselves by simply cataloging the configuration of the man’s body. List where the parts of the man’s body are located and record their spatial orientation”.

For instance. Why is the man’s head leaning down to his right?


There is no object in the picture the man is trying to avoid by tilting his head down to his right. Why isn’t his head erect? Why would he hold his head in what looks like an unnatural and uncomfortable way?

Because Right Hand Masturbation shrank the right side of his body. The shrunken right side of the body is to weak to hold up the right side of the head, so the entire head collapses over to the right.

Readers unfamiliar with Happeh Theory may have difficulty accepting the claim Right Hand Masturbation shrank the right side of the man’s body. Those readers should ask themselves a question. Where is the man’s right eye? In the picture it looks like he only has a left eye.


It looks like there is nothing but a black hole where the right eye should be.


The man looks like his right eye is missing because it shrank along with the rest of the right side of the head.

The tilting of the man’s head gives him what Happeh Theory calls “Gumby Head”. Gumby was a children’s cartoon character who had a slanted head.


As you can see in the following comparison picture, the example man’s head slant’s down to his right just like Gumby’s head does.


The look of the man’s head is also the inspiration for the insult “One Eyed Pinhead”. The man looks like he has only one eye,


and his head is pointy,


like the tip of a pin is pointy.


Voila! A One Eyed Pin Head


Another one of the physical changes caused by masturbation is the shoulder on the same side of the body as the masturbating hand will move lower as that entire side of the body shrinks. If that claim is true, then the example man’s right shoulder should be lower than his left shoulder, because it was stated earlier the changes to the man’s body were due to Right Hand Masturbation.

The man’s right shoulder is lower than his left shoulder as highlighted in the following picture,


which gives both shoulder a slanted down to the right look.


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